by America

with apologies to Offspring

and John & Maria, of course

 

I planned to quit for the tenth time today

I'd bike less on longboard at Speedway

For $1.75 - I bike up Joice

Rent's coming up so I don't have a choice

Now, I know I'm getting screwed

My life depends upon my dispatcher's moods

I won't be making money

I'm just a Pelican with no self-esteem. Oh yeah! Oh...

The security guards are acting like jerks

And I got a six-foot flat for Chromeworks

I'm so stressed I can't sleep at night

Dreaming all about those Northern Lights. Oh yeah! Oh...

When she's saying I'm such a great employee

Then I wonder why she won't hire my friends

When she's sending me to 23rd & Noe

The I wonder how far back I can bend

Well, I guess I should stick up for myself

But someday I'll get gravy this way

The more you sweat

The greater your capacity for beer, right?

Down on Barneveld and I just got the door

She calls me up and gives me four more

Maria, please! Have mercy on me

I'm seeing spots and I'm weak in the knees

Now I know I should say

But it's a hot rush up to Alta & Mo

I work non-stop, but I'm no bike dweeb

I'm just a Pelican with no self-esteem! Oh yeah! Oh...

When she's saying I'm such a great employee

Then I wonder why she won't hire my friends

When she's sending me to 23rd & Noe

The I wonder how far back I can bend

Well, I guess I should stick up for myself

But someday I'll get gravy this way

The more you sweat

The greater your capacity for beer, right?

 

 

"He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."

-Earl Butz, secretary of agriculture under President Ford,

on the Pope's attitude toward birth control.