Top Ten Reasons Why

You Should Be a Bike Messenger in SF

 

10. Panhandlers know it's a waste of a time to ask you for spare change.

9. Earthquakes are good for the messenger business.

8. It's a great excuse to wear spandex.

7. You're able to sweat out the weekend by Monday afternoon.

6. Local tattoo artists are great at covering up scar tissue.

5. You get to piss off high-paid executives by farting the in the elevator.

4. Dispatch radios scare paranoid crack fiends into thinking you're with the DEA.

3. Riding up all those hills gives you a tight ass.

2. "People Slaloming"-an emerging Olympic sport

1. Sometimes the paramedics let you play with the siren.

 

 

 

Top 10 Reasons Why

You Should Not be a Bike Messenger in SF

 

10. People are always asking, "Do you know Puck?"

9. Having to say, "Sure, no problem. I'm headed right there," with a straight face.

8. One word-hemorrhoids.

7. People are always opening doors for you, but unfortunately, it's a car door right in front of your face.

6. Your legs end up looking like Popeye's arms.

5. You end up arming yourself with automatic weapons and killing your co-workers... WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S THE POSTAL SERVICE.

4. Saloons become magnets.

3. Some dispatchers smoke the same stuff you do.

2. So tired from riding and drinking beer all day, that you pass out before Letterman comes on.

1. People treat you like the scum that you are.