VOD#3, Hanx

Many took advantage of the warm weather by jumping off the pier at Mission Rock. Even Cat Hanx went for a swim. As Cat was coming out of the water a canon went off in the distance. A one-gun salute for the new Hanx Prez? Hmm...

There was plenty of beer, plenty of BBQ (th@nx, Ron), and plenty of sun (some reported sunburns). Cat had the updated Hanx list, and he was welcoming any changes. There was a rookie desperately trying to get on the list. He fell short by one signature and was a bad sport about it. He'll never be a Hanx with that attitude.

Anyone who went to Mission Rock Resort that day for food might remember the asshole that gave Tony Calzone such a shitty attitude. Eventually the warm sun turned to cold shade, which chased every Hanx home.

-Christopher Hall

Da New List of H@nx-1996

Prez: Cat H@nx CEO of H@nx: Lee
Major Problem: Mikey
Treasurer: Jim Jones "Hawk"
Medic: Advilman Head of Security: Mongo
Reverend: Grimalken
Minister of Culture: Dogpaw
Officer of Morale: Amy
Mayor of the Parks: Tank
Captain: Cannibal
Head Chef: Tony Calzone

Lt. Major Asshole: Dumptruck
Navigator: Rony
Officer of Communication: Lance
Officer of Thinking: Tom Snow Minister of Propaganda: America
Liaison for H@nx & Jaks: Ms. Dangerous
Keeper of da Sac: Popeye da Monarch
Minister of Damestic & Foreign Affairs: Abdul-I-Bud
Deacon of Hard Times: Toddler
Empire of Free Food: H@nx Williams
also: Al, Animal, de Haro, Guy, Cabin Boy, Hippy, & Wendy.

The Hanx are a messenger gang, numbering around 150 members, begun in the early '80s as a retaliation to Jak's Skate Team. They are the ones who gave the world the Russian River Ride, the Hanx/Jaks Festival of Life, and the Annual Hanx Toy Drive. Many of the original Hanx' tags are still to be seen in our fair city, including the one of Vice-Prez Robert "Teen" Powell, who left us in 1993. The original Prez Lee Mallory passed away in 2005. Cat briefly served as president, and the current president is Antonion "Tony Calzone" Garay.

-America, Hanx XCII

The H@nx Toy Drive

The gathering was smaller this year at South Park than in past years, but it was not very well advertised. Nonetheless a total of three barrels of toys were collected for the annual Hanx Toy Drive. Prez Cat made a cameo and split. After collecting the toys at South Park, everyone rode down to the Firehouse where they were greeted by the firemen, who toy-collecting firetruck is named, "Elfis." The most beautiful sight was Tom Scott catching a tow on his five-foot-long skateboard from Pat on his motorcycle. Festivities continued at Mission Rock, where the world's most inebriated businessman bought us all beer. -America